Alice in Fxcking Wonderland

I suppose the world of a narcissist, would be a bit like a parallel dimension, hypothetically existing inside their own head, you know a bit like Alice in fooking wonderland! where she enter's a strange and unpredictable fantasy world after falling through a Rabbit hole, then encounters, the Hookah smoking caterpillar, the Duchess with a baby that becomes a pig, the Cheshire Cat, and last but least the March Hare and the Mad Hatter, well let me tell you this, living with Captain Creepy was like attending one of the strange, tea parties that never fooking ended!

But unlike Alice I did not, and could not wake up from this fooking Dream, it was very much a reality for me, as I was living along side my very own MAD HATTER!

Because when It came to Captain Creepy he sure did live in a fooking wonderland , and the shit that came out of his mouth, you would not believe! I remember when I first started seeing him, and he came to my home one evening, and my elderly mother lived with me at that point, and she was complaining, that her feet were indeed sore and Captain Creepy said "what's the matter with them?" and she replied, "I have a hammer toe" and he said well let me have a look OMFG!  and she of course did, then he disappeared out of the room and came back with this huge and I mean fooking huge encyclopedia, and I thought he was going to look something up in it, but then he starts reeling of how he trained as foot Doctor/Podiatrist/chiropodist, and that he could relieve her sore feet, and he told her to sit down, and then the next minute all I see is this fxck off encyclopedia, flying through the air sorry I'm killing myself as I type this, and it lands BANG! WALLOP! on my mother's foot and she's howling out of her, and I was like WTAF! and she's screaming "he's broke my foot, he's broke my fooking foot!" put it like this she soon forgot about her hammer toe! Oh! my day's, the reason I brought that up, was because she was in my back garden the other day and had open toe sandals on as it was a nice day, and she looked down at her feet and she said "I never noticed that before but my toe is no longer hammer looking anymore it is perfectly straight and we both burst into a hysterics, and I said "that's cause captain creepy probably broke it, and it reset itself straight ha! ha! ha!" 

Then she started to laugh and turned to me and said do you remember when he told us, about how he swam the channel twice, and when the newspaper's/media, interviewed him they asked him how he managed to do that, and and he said, he was able to achieve doing that by all the cups of tea he drank as it gave him super power's ha! ha! to be honest I never actually listened to half the fooking stories he told, as I zoned the fuck out! but apparently my mother did, must be a Virgo thing! ha! Cause then she reminded me after the swimming the fooking channel story, about The milky -Bar -kid Story, stop it, I'm doubled over here! yep apparently, Captain Creepy, auditioned for an advert for Milky-Bars and he was down to the final it was between him and one other boy, the story has it, the other boy got it as he was a poofy little bastard! was the words he used if I recall! (head in hands right now!) why the fook did I ever have anything to to with this man! ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

She doesn't stop there though she then goes on and says and do you remember that time, he told us about how he was arrested and spent two years in prison, "how could I forget" I said, well seemingly he was out in his rather sporty rally car driving over the speed limit and he get's flagged down by the police to stop, of course he did not, so this high speed chase transpires before he know's it there are about 10 police cars chasing him, and he leads them a merry dance for quite a distance when they finally catch up with him there are about 100 police cars, by now and multiple helicopters, hot on his tail, of course he runs out of petrol and it's straight to jail for him, he said you have never seen anything like it, right out of the Dukes of Hazard's! BOOM! 

I mean his stories where fooking fantastical, they just rolled off his tongue, I remember sitting one night watching the TV with him and the news came on and this famous female starts reading the news and then out of no where he says "I fuxcked her" I tried to not give it to much of a reaction, but, "are you shitting me!"

The thing is Narcissists are indeed fooking renowned story teller's, they can captivate you with tales of triumphs, and heroism, but this is only because reality does not support their fooked up view of themselves, so they have to make everything up to fit accordingly, and that's why they live in a fantasy world, with magical thinking, that's completely distorted and bent out of shape, you see Captain creepy, did not triumph and he was not a modern day hero, he was just a very sad individual that, used these maky on, stories to make him feel special and in control.      

Did you know that Narcissist spelled backwards

is Asshole?

Hey, if they can make shit up so can we.

-Anon