Bankrupt Coked Up And Fxxked Up

I was never so relieved, when it was time to go home and to be honest there really should of been more to say about an experience like getting married in Vegas, but although Captain C was nefariously Narcissistic, he was actually quite a boring mother fooker, cause he did not want to do anything outside of the box I mean he always bragged about doing this, and doing that, but it was all fantastical story telling that's all, as he lived within the realms of his own fooking sick twisted mind! Before we went to Vegas he never shut up about wanting to go to a live sex show when we was out there, and he wanted to get up on stage and be the star of the show looool! he never once mentioned that when we were out there thank fook! but that's an example of how he was always trying to inflate his huge ego, a complete turn off and even writing this throws shade on my intelligence, for going along with any of it.  Oh! and I tell you what else he did, he took it upon himself to put one of...

Well the day of reckoning had come fook knows how I made it this far with Captain C and all his pish! We were airport bound for Vegas Baby! yeah! I know that's how it should of read but to be honest all it did was fill me with dread! I think its fair to say the writing was on the wall, cause he shit himself before we even got on the plane ha! like literally, you know I told you Capatain C only had a diet of Tea and toast, well he ate a curry I had made the night before and it had gone straight through him! so the jeans were whipped off and thrown in the nearest bin WTAF And then after that things went from bad to worse when we arrived at Gatwick airport he made a be line for the bar! I on the over hand went to the duty free for perfume to masque the smell of the shit! .. only joking ha! and when I met up with him about 45 mins later he was pissed! it doesn't take much! cause he doesn't eat!  but he had found himself a drinking buddy and not just any old drinking buddy,...

So one of the most painful things to happen to me was my two bankruptcies, I mean  its not so bad if its just your business that is bankrupt but to be made personally bankrupt that has to be the worse things ever, like there is no coming back from it I mean no credit at all imagine not being able to have a credit card, buy a house, or even a car, and the worse thing is as I keep stipulating I should never have been bankrupt but my ex husband and his crooked lawyer conspired and set me up, put it like this I was told under no uncertain terms if I did not sign the paper work as in all the assets over to Agent of Chaos I would be fooking taken out,#Sleeping with fishes, capish? and when I refused lets just say physical force was used, I know, I know all the best people don't I? OK did! ha! So obviously I did as i was told and boom bankruptcy number one, was complete, to be honest it did not really affect me for years as things remained the same with Agent of Chaos controlling the...

Prozac, Diazapam, coke, Tequila, Prozac, Diazapam, coke, Tequila.. Consume Sleep Repeat .. yeah I was on a loop that's what you do isn't it? anything to get through the day! Mind you I don't think there's enough drugs to blank out this sick twisted fuck! So now I'm totally at his mercy, this pains me to go back in time and write all this cause I'm in a good place now! but why the fuck could I not have seen my way out of this Insane asylum! 'at the time? I'm assuming like the last relationship I did not think I was worthy of getting out that's why! And I know that statement applies to a lot of women trapped in abusive relationships So with the help of my reinforced, narcotic friends I get through the day & night ha!, and yes I had thought about drugging him, anything for me to get a nights rest from him climbing all over me with his unwanted sexual advances, and then when he's finished I cry myself to sleep that's what you do isn...

Caroline Flack was guilty of abuse yes! abuse of herself to which she paid for with her life! did the CPS need to pursue her for domestic abuse Hell No! she was not a threat to the public, and by all accounts this was an isolated incident, there was no proof she was a serial abuser, only that she was a very troubled young woman, and that was apparent to any one with any emotional common sense! "Yes but, we cant let this one slide because she is a public figure" this is what I'm reading on line, all over social media, and this is why I felt compelled to write about it, because it really boils my piss, even more infuriating, that its coming out of  the mouths of people that would not know the first thing about living with domestic abuse! Opinions eh! they are like ass-holes everyone has one, but if your not coming form a place of knowledge, then the only other fooking place is ignorance! don't be that person! the world needs  more kinder, empathetic, educat...

You know Captain C was terrible with money when I first go with him he, he had a shit load of unresolved issues with the Tax man, to which I sorted, as I liaised, with all the necessary people and explained the reason he was in such a mess was because his mother had just died and he himself had just gone through a divorce to which had left him homeless, and therefore his mental health had suffered, I know always trying to save people, one of my biggest problems you would think I would learn wouldn't you? because lets face it there doesn't seem to be anyone wanting to save me is there? Looking back though this was just another personality disorder trait money problems because people with this affliction just can not seem to manage their money, saying that they just cant seem to manage fook all, as the world in which they live is pure chaos! But that was OK because for me, I was brought up in chaos and for me chaos was my operative word ha! Agent of chaos was exactly the sam...