Skip to main content

"Never allow words to control you"



Any Hoo!,

In-between all my therapy and trying to fathom out what the fook went wrong with my life I was still trying to deal with the everyday grind!
one of those things being the solicitor with regards to Capatain C as I said he was a pretty slimy kinda fooker you know the type, like a smiling assassin! and if of course he was running up my legal bill, no end! for this, that and other, probably even just for breathing, because as you know I had a 3.5 million divorce decree which he thought he was going to get his grubby mitts on, ha!...so I had to pay him a visit because I just got my wedding certificate back from Vegas cause captain creepy had only destroyed the original in an attempt to say we were not married, terrified I may lay some kind of claim to stinking cesspit of a home!! No worries there mate its all yours, fill your boots ...so I go and see him and give him the certificate and he presents me with huge bill for thousands including me getting locked up for that idiot smashing the window! how the fook was I going to pay it? I was really pissed because I told him I needed legal assistance because of  my financial situation yeah the one where I'm on my ass, with not a pot to piss in! type of situation, but it just keeps falling on death ears... so I end up leaving his office very despondent, and return home where I decide there is no point to him, because, he hasn't exactly been helpful, throughout this god damn sorry mess I mean he didn't help me, get my belongings from Captain Creepy to which he burnt everything, and he didn't help with me getting my vehicle back! and he let me fooking rot in the clink for 3 fooking nights so nah! your getting fooking binned you useless gobshite ha! note to myself never use the towns local solicitor in fact never use another fooking solicitor ever again in your entire life...
Well as you can imagine when I sent him the email he was non to pleased and he used threatening like tactics and when they did not work he presented me with the bill, asking for it in full, well my learned friend I am afraid you will will have to take it out on my face, so then it was a court summons and debt collecting shit from what I can recall, so I had to nip it in the bud and I wrote to the legal ombudsman, and these fookers are a bigger waste of space than him because nothing ever gets upheld believe me I have wrote to them multiple times and they always say "Time Barred" that's there favourite line, mother fookers! but they could not say that this time they just said that the smiling assassin had adhered to their rules, here we fooking go again, and they throw it out, see there is no point going up against the establishment cause there is no rules for them at the top!
Defeated yet again! was I fook I appealed, bet you didn't see that one coming, because while I was sifting through my emails one night a came across an email to my low life Solicitor, pleading and begging with him to help get me legal assistance because I was on the bones of my ass! and I thought I've got you fooker it's there in black and white and right enough, for once in my stinking life my luck had changed, and yes, there was no denying it,this time round he had to pay me compensation! WOW! just WOW! maybe my luck was changing, and about a month later I had a nice little cheque in my hand, and I decided I was going to make a down payment on a car Thank you Jesus! I think my life may just be about to turn around after all ....
They were like sharks, the solicitors that is, as there was another one waiting in the wings to recoup money from me also, with regards to my second bankruptcy, I'm like you didn't do anything, I was made bankrupt duh! for the second time!, did you stop that no! am I bankrupt yes! so fook off then " "oh! so you didn't get your 3.5 million settlement then?"  I told you fooking sharks the lots of them, just circling ...I've never met a decent one yet, its Ironic really because I haven't told any of you this but my daughter, is soon to graduate from Law School ha!I kid you not, How ironic is that do you think the universe is trying to tell me something loooooool ....saying that  I am very proud of her, not only does she have brains she is also very beautiful too, see I do have many things to be grateful for, it's just that when your so far down on your luck, you can't always see the woods for the tree's ......
And while I'm still on the subject of legalities I got an email from the CPS  and the fookers have only dropped their rulings against Agent Of Chaos, yep it's only "fooking Time barred"ha! as I said that's their favourite line even though they know it's fooking wrong they still play that card and then pretend their adhering to the fooking rules, well as long as they can sleep at night that's all that matter's,  I don't even know why they bothered  charging him the first place cause they let him run off into the sunset, seemingly too much time has lapsed so they have thrown the case out, that's pretty ironic as well cause Agent Of Chaos is in self imposed exile, wot a freaking shit storm!, cause he thinks he cant come back here when he supposedly can, cause all charges have been dropped, well I'm not telling him! someone else can! they can never quite get anything right these fookers in power, They let all the guilty ones off, with everything, and penalise the ones that are accessible, cause their lazy fookers, just looking for some one to blame!get it over and done with and wrap up the case, I spoke in the beginning of my book about the legal system being fooked up well I may have to recant that statement its not the system that's fooked up, its the people, cause the people are the system, and it all boils down to, we have bad people in charge, and its suits them, just fine to run a fooked up system, just as long as their hands don't get dirty!... now I know how Jesus felt, I knew being born on Christmas day was going to be a bloody curse!
Oh yeah! I don't know if I mentioned or not, but my eldest son came back from his long stay away with Agent C, yep he finally released him from his clutches, there was a bit of Stockholm syndrome  going on, but he seems to be slowly, making some progress, I took him along to a therapist, I swear to God, these people, #Doctors, more often than not can not comprehend, my freaking story, yeah Its true! none of it has been embellished, in-fact, a lot is played down. So as you can imagine my relationship with him was a bit rocky to start with, because you know who had been dripping poison in his ear but we seem to be rebuilding our relationship so that along with my new car, and a home, that no one is going to throw me out of, and of course the will to live, which is a pretty good place to start rebuilding your life wouldn't you agree?
I did for a while try going back into further education, and no it was not law this time it was Social Science, but I was not mentally ready, One of the lecturers was really negative and I fed off  him, Obviously that's the BPD for you! because as I said I am sensitive to social and emotional cues, especially negative ones, and what ever some one throws out to me I will mirror and throw it back and I'm a lot better at being an ass-hole, than most, as I've had a lot more training, and been taught by the best !! so, I relapsed with my healing, and had to withdraw from the world for a bit, but I'm slowly getting back on track and ready for my next part of the journey,  I've learnt your always gonna come across A- holes, and bullies, but my lesson is not to react, because if they can control you with their negative words! they can control everything about you and I'll be damned if that's ever happening again! not on my freaking watch!!     

" YOU WILL CONTINUE TO SUFFER IF YOU HAVE AN EMOTIONAL
REACTION TO EVERYTHING THAT IS SAID TO YOU.
TRUE POWER IS SITTING BACK AND OBSERVING THINGS WITH
LOGIC. TRUE POWER IS RESTRAINT, IF WORDS CONTROL YOU
THAT MEANS EVERYONE ELSE CAN CONTROL YOU.
BREATH AND ALLOW THINGS TO PASS..

- WARREN BUFFET




     

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"Whataboutery"

Before I go full pelt into my next post, I have had feed back from some of my critics, which is all good as I am open to some constructive criticism as it helps you grow as a person doesn't it? Well apparently, it was brought to my attention in my last post that I did not mention Captain Creepy was indeed, an Apollo Astronaut who worked for NASA, there I have said it now, I mean How could I forget something as big as that, Fxck me it was in plain sight for everyone to see as he added it to all his profiles! WTAF! I also want to add, I was all so critiqued for using the word fook by my daughter, I thought here we go she hates my sentence enhancers as I call them, probably cause she Is at law School and training to be a lawyer, but no that was not the case she said I should just use the word FUCK  as it was more me #DIRECT! I suppose she does have a point... there is no point sugar coating it is there ha! so Fuck it is!... So what does everyone think of this George Floyd protes...

"Stripper"

Prozac, Diazapam, coke, Tequila, Prozac, Diazapam, coke, Tequila.. Consume Sleep Repeat .. yeah I was on a loop that's what you do isn't it? anything to get through the day! Mind you I don't think there's enough drugs to blank out this sick twisted fuck! So now I'm totally at his mercy, this pains me to go back in time and write all this cause I'm in a good place now! but why the fuck could I not have seen my way out of this Insane asylum! 'at the time? I'm assuming like the last relationship I did not think I was worthy of getting out that's why! And I know that statement applies to a lot of women trapped in abusive relationships So with the help of my reinforced, narcotic friends I get through the day & night ha!, and yes I had thought about drugging him, anything for me to get a nights rest from him climbing all over me with his unwanted sexual advances, and then when he's finished I cry myself to sleep that's what you do isn...

Jeffery Epstein

Oh! I forgot to mention my case, regarding my fraudulent bankruptcies has has been handed to, the judicial investigating team wow! that has to mean something eh! It would make a great ending for my book if justice were to be served once and for all, Oh! yeah!, and I could get the press that wrote untruths about me to recant their fooking maky on story! Believe me I have tried several time's but I just coming up against brick fooking walls damn! it's so frustrating, when you know your innocent of the things they accused me off! it's like trying to overturn anything legally binding like a court ruling they just fooking hate doing that shit, because they have to fooking admit they got it all all wrong in the first place and god forbid they have to do that , will there freaking egos's ever allow it? as i said previously we do not have a fooked up system we have fooked up people running the system! But on the plus side I just finished watching that documentary on Jeff Eps...